Clock In, Clock Out

Life is like a clock.

At your job you may have to clock in when you arrive and clock out when you leave. While you are there at your job, you actually have to do some kind of work so you can get paid. At the end of your shift you are probably very glad to clock out and go home to enjoy your family.

It's funny how we need to work so we can live. If you don't work, then you may not get to enjoy some of life's pleasures, like traveling. So we work in order to enjoy life. But do we get to enjoy life more, if we work harder? No, not necessarily. Sometimes the more hours we work or the more stress we endure at work, diminishes our enjoyment of life. What about enjoying life more, when we get paid more? Again, not necessarily. Sometimes the happiest people in the world are the poorest who truely enjoy their time away from work with their families.

In life, you also clocked in when you were born. And when you die, you will be clocking out. Your birth certificate is your clocking in. Your death certificate is your clocking out. When you clocked in, you started your assignment. When you clock out, you will have completed your assignment. What is this assignment? Only you and God know what particular assignment you must do with your life.

Now think about this. When you clock out of life, you get to go "home" to enjoy your "family." Your true "home" is heaven, and your true "family" are all the believers who made it into heaven, and this might include your earthly family members. I can hardly wait to clock out so I can truely enjoy life.

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I owe my mother

These are many of the things my mother taught me:

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

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